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A Guy Tried to Rob a 7-Eleven . . . But the Register Didn't Have Enough Money

You know those signs that businesses put up to try to deter robbers that say things like, "Safe contains less than $50"? Maybe those really ARE a good deterrent.

A guy walked into a 7-Eleven in Newport News, Virginia around 12:30 A.M. on Monday, pulled out a GUN, and demanded cash from the clerk. The clerk opened up the register to give the guy the money.

But when the guy got a look at just how little cash was in the register, he CURSED . . . and stormed out empty handed.

There's no word on just how little money was in the register, but clearly it wasn't worth the trouble of actually following through on the robbery.

Police are trying to find him.

(Hampton Roads Pilot)



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Locations : Newport NewsVirginia




 

A Woman Is Arrested After Slapping Her Boyfriend Over Monopoly

There's a chance this week that someone in your family will suggest a board game. Let this be a cautionary tale of why you should say NO . . . and everyone should sit silently playing on their phones.

21-year-old Alyssa Ferraro of Hooksett, New Hampshire and her boyfriend were playing Monopoly on Sunday night . . . when the game devolved into an argument, like board games so often do.

The argument got physical . . . and Alyssa wound up SLAPPING her boyfriend across the face.

Neighbors heard the argument and called the cops . . . and Alyssa was arrested and charged with domestic violence-related simple assault.

She's due in court on December 31st . . . just in time to get her sentence and get home to ruin New Year's Eve by suggesting Scrabble or Cranium.

(New Hampshire Union Leader)
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Locations : New Hampshire
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A Guy Commits a Robbery Wearing a Hat With His Name on It

We'll never get sick of people getting busted for crimes because of their VANITY.

A 23-year-old guy named Haziq Shah from Edison, New Jersey broke into a MOSQUE last week, and stole several hundred dollars from its donation box.

And we know Haziq was the one who robbed the mosque because they had security cameras . . . and Haziq was wearing a black hat with "HAZIQ" embroidered on it in giant white letters.

The mosque turned the security footage over to the cops . . . and they've issued a warrant for Haziq's arrest.

(NJ Advance Media)
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Dictionary.com's Word of the Year Is....

The Oxford English Dictionary just picked VAPE as their word of the year, and now Dictionary.com has released THEIR annual word of the year . . . and it's not quite as cool.

They picked "EXPOSURE." How annoyed must they have been when the Oxford people went for "vape"?

Dictionary.com's editors say "exposure" sums up so much of what happened this year, from people worried about exposure to Ebola . . . to the ice bucket challenge getting exposure for ALS . . . to celebrities being exposed in hacked nude photos.

They based their pick off Google searches and the searches on their website. Their word of the year for 2013 was "privacy" . . . so clearly they're into picking generic words that take on new, modern context.

The runners-up for the Dictionary.com word of the year were borders, disrupt, wearables, and bae.

(Time)
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A Guy Told His Girlfriend He'd Been Kidnapped . . . So He Could Hang Out With Hi

There are probably better strategies to get a night out with your buddies than THIS. In fact . . . pretty much EVERY strategy is better than this.

22-year-old Justin Sarten of San Tan Valley, Arizona wanted to hang out with some SKETCHY dudes on Thursday night . . . so he started texting his girlfriend that he'd been KIDNAPPED.

She told his mom, who called the police. And they launched an all-out manhunt for him.

Eventually they found him at a Walmart with three guys. At first he said he HAD been kidnapped. But he couldn't keep his story straight, and eventually admitted he'd gone with them voluntarily, and they gave him money to buy them cell phones. (???)

None of that fully adds up, but it REALLY feels like a bunch of guys up to no good. Anyway, Justin was arrested for falsely reporting a kidnapping.

(AZ Family / San Tan Valley)
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Do You Struggle Swallowing Pills? Then Check This Out!!

Do you have trouble taking pills? Maybe not aspirin, but those giant horse-pill vitamins? Well, scientists have FINALLY figured out the best way to do it.

Researchers at the University of Heidelberg in Germany found these are the two best ways to get pills down smoothly, without any trouble.

1. The "pop bottle" method. Put the pill on your tongue, tightly wrap your lips around the mouth of a water bottle, then tilt your head back slightly and SUCK the water down. That will create a vacuum that gets the pill down.

2. The "lean forward" method. Sit in a chair, put the pill on your tongue, take a sip of water, and as you swallow it, tuck your chin and lean forward.

Both methods should work for most pills, but the researchers say the "pop bottle" method is best for chalky tablets, and the "lean forward" method is best for denser capsules.

(Daily Mail)

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A Woman Catches the Guy Who Stole Her Debit Card . . . When She Was in Line Behi

41-year-old Tamara Thomas of Stone Mountain, Georgia was at a grocery store on Saturday when she dropped her debit card.

She couldn't find it, and says it stressed her out so much she got a headache . . . so she went across the street to a Family Dollar store to buy some aspirin.

So she got in line behind a 32-year-old guy named Kahlif Buggs and his 11-year-old son, who had a giant shopping cart full of toys.

And when it was time to pay, he whipped out his card . . . which Tamara immediately recognized as HER debit card. The guy claimed it was his . . . apparently he didn't notice Tamara's PHOTO was on the card.

When she pointed that out, he took off. But Tamara chased after him and called 911 . . . and the cops found Kahlif hiding behind a church. He was arrested.

(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
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A Guy Bought 99 New iPhones for a Wedding Proposal . . . and She Said No

Have you looked at what it costs to buy a new iPhone WITHOUT getting a two-year contract? They start at like $800. So if you buy one for someone as a gift, that's love. If you buy MORE than one? I can't even comprehend.

A guy in Guangzhou, China wanted to propose to his girlfriend in the most spectacular way possible this weekend . . . so he bought 99 brand new iPhone 6s, arranged them in a park in the shape of a heart, and proposed inside the heart.

And . . . she said NO.

The guy spent approximately $82,000 on the iPhones, which is about what he makes in TWO YEARS as a computer programmer. He'll probably be looking to resell the phones now.

There's no word on WHY his girlfriend turned him down.

(The Nanfang)
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Locations : Guangzhou




 

It's Official: "Toy Story 4" Is on the Way

After years of speculation, Disney announced that there will be a fourth "Toy Story" movie . . . and it even has a release date.

Unfortunately, it's WAY into the future. In fact, you still have time to get married, and CONCEIVE A CHILD to later take to the theater with you to see the movie. You just have to get that done by June 16th of 2017.

When it finally premieres, it will have been SEVEN years since "Toy Story 3" . . . and, as hard as it is to believe, 22 years since the original movie came out.

There's no word on a plot for the new one. As you may recall, at the end of the third movie, Andy went away to college and gave the toys away to a little girl.

The director says, quote, "'Toy Story 3' ended so perfectly that for a long time, we never even talked about doing another 'Toy Story' movie. But when [we] came up with this new idea, I just could not stop thinking about it . . .

"I knew we had to make this movie."
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How Fast Could You Run a Beer Mile?

If you've never heard of the beer mile, it's because you're a good person. If you HAVE heard of it, sit back and smile while we share its glory with the rest of the world.

The beer mile is a challenge that combines two polar opposite things: Running fast and chugging beer. Here's how it works. You chug a beer, run a quarter mile, and repeat until you've run a full mile . . . and in the process, chugged four beers.

Well, the beer mile is actually making some news now because a 44-year-old mother of six just broke the women's beer mile WORLD RECORD . . . by 13 seconds.

44-year-old Chris Kimbrough of Austin, Texas just ran the mile and chugged the four beers in six minutes and 28.6 seconds. The previous woman's record was set in 1997 by a woman who did it in six minutes and 42 seconds.

The men's record was set earlier this year by 34-year-old James Nielsen of San Francisco . . . he did the first beer mile under five minutes, at four minutes and 57 seconds.

(Runner's World)
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Locations : AustinSan FranciscoTexas
People : Chris KimbroughJames Nielsen




 

A Guy is Looking to Take a Girl With the Same Name as His Ex on a Trip Around th

This is pretty weird, but if your name happens to be Elizabeth Gallagher, you have a ton of free time over the holidays, and you have a high tolerance for weirdos, it's your lucky day.

A guy named Jordan from Toronto, Canada recently got dumped by his girlfriend . . . Elizabeth Gallagher. And they had an amazing around-the-world trip booked for the end of the year to Milan, Prague, Paris, Bangkok, and New Delhi.

Well . . . Elizabeth isn't going on the trip with Jordan anymore. But he already paid for the ticket, it would cost him too much to cancel it, and he can't change the name on it.

So he's put an offer out on the Internet: If your name is Elizabeth Gallagher, you can go on the around-the-world trip for FREE. He says it doesn't include hotels and you don't even have to hang out with him in the different cities.

He also says he's not expecting anything in return . . . but, quote, "if you feel compelled to toss me a couple hundred bucks, great. Really the only thing I ask for is that you enjoy this trip and that it brings you happiness."

So if your name is Elizabeth Gallagher, email Jordan at jaxani@gmail.com. The trip starts on December 21st from New York and ends January 8th in Toronto. Jordan thinks you might need a Canadian passport but we think you'll be fine with a U.S. one.

(Reddit)
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A Guy Robbed Four Subways, All Because He Didn't Lose Weight on the 'Jared Diet'

Not to justify committing crimes, but this is one of the all-time great excuses for a robbery.

18-year-old Zachary Torrance of Hueytown, Alabama was arrested last week for robbing four different Subway locations in four days.

And when the cops finally tracked him down, he said he did it because he'd tried the JARED DIET, it didn't work, and he was upset . . . so he wanted his money back.

In case somehow you've forgotten, Jared Fogle is the chubby guy who lost a ton of weight about 15 years ago by eating two Subway sandwiches every day. And he's been in 17 billion commercials since.

Zachary has been charged with first-degree robbery. He's about six feet tall and 200 pounds, so we're not sure why he was trying so hard to lose weight . . . but I guess everyone has their own health ideals.

(Al.com)

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Locations : AlabamaHueytown
People : Jared FogleZachary Torrance




 

A Guy Dressed as a Zombie Tries to Scare Drivers, and Gets Run Over

Let's say you're out driving this week and a ZOMBIE walks in front of your car.  Even though you KNOW zombies aren't real, and you KNOW it's Halloween . . . you just MIGHT be inclined to run that zombie over.
 
45-year-old Jeffrey Stiles of Muskegon, Michigan was at a Halloween party on Saturday night dressed as a zombie.  And around 8:30 P.M., he decided to go into the street to scare DRIVERS . . . even though he's really old enough to know better.
 
So Jeffrey walked out into the street . . . and was promptly RUN OVER.
 
The driver kept going, and the police haven't tracked him down.  Jeffrey was taken to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries. 

(Grand Rapids Press)
 
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Locations : Grand RapidsMichigan
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A Woman Is Busted Smuggling $70,000 in Her Stomach

When a smuggler does something THIS impressive, you almost feel like they DESERVE to keep what they're smuggling . . . even if they get caught.
 
A 40-year-old woman was busted last week trying to smuggle $70,000 in cash into the Dominican Republic . . . all in her STOMACH.
 
Before she took a flight from Brussels, Belgium to Punta Cana, in the Dominican Republic, she swallowed 16 capsules with about $4,400 in each one.
 
It's not clear how officials figured out she had $70,000 in her stomach.  But they also found $69,000 in cash in her suitcase . . . and think the money might be tied to drug traffickers. 

(AP)
 
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The Eight Weirdest Sick Day Excuses People Have Used This Year

According to a new CareerBuilder survey, 28% of us have used a fake excuse to call in sick to work this year.  And 31% of bosses say they've tried to CATCH employees faking it.  15% say they've even driven by someone's HOUSE before.
 

Here are the eight weirdest excuses employers have heard so far this year.  Some of them sound TOO weird to be fake.
 
1.  "I just put a casserole in the oven."
 
2.  "My legs fell asleep in the bathroom.  Then I stood up, fell, and broke my ankle."
 
3.  "I was at a casino all weekend, and still have money left to play with."
 
4.  "I woke up in a good mood and don't want to ruin it."
 
5.  "I hooked up with someone at their place last night, and I don't know where I am."
 
6.  "I got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store."
 
7.  "I tried to dry my uniform in the microwave, and it caught fire."
 
8.  "I accidentally got on a plane." 

(PR Newswire)
 
 
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An Old Guy Shoplifted a Bunch of Stuff . . . Because He Didn't Want to Wait in L

Never go to Walmart during PEAK shopping hours . . . because apparently it can drive you so nuts, you'll start breaking the LAW.
 
A 74-year-old named Clayton Lampe was at a Walmart in Sheboygan, Wisconsin recently. And the checkout lines were really long.  So instead of waiting . . . he decided to just STEAL everything.
 
One of the employees saw him walk out with a liquor bottle.  So they followed him, and found out he was actually trying to leave with $300 worth of stuff.
 
When police got there, Clayton explained that he hates to wait in lines, and THAT'S why he decided to shoplift.  He also said he does it ALL THE TIME, and there's never been a problem before.  (???)
 
He was arrested for shoplifting.  And he's also charged with obstructing justice, because he tried to give police a fake name. 
 
 
(Fox6Now)
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Locations : Wisconsin
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A Drunk Guy Was Busted for Giving a Cop a Double Wet Willy

Around 2:20 in the morning on Saturday, a cop was standing on the street, talking to a bus driver near a bar in Mankato, Minnesota.  (About 80 miles southwest of Minneapolis.)
 
And the bar had just closed, so drunk people were pouring out of it, including a 24-year-old guy named Riley Swearingen, who was with some friends.  And apparently just to get a laugh, Riley decided to sneak up behind the cop . . . and give him a WET WILLY.
 
More specifically, Riley went with a DOUBLE wet willy . . . meaning he put a finger in BOTH of the cop's ears at the same time.
 
At which point the cop spun around, and saw him walking away.  And if he wasn't already sure Riley did it, he was a few seconds later . . . when he clearly heard him yell to his friends that he, quote, "just gave [that] cop a WET WILLY!"
 
It turns out Riley is an air traffic controller in the Air Force, and was in town for a friend's wedding.  Initially, they charged with him "assaulting a police officer with bodily fluids," which is a FELONY.
 
But after three days in jail, a judge let him plead guilty to disruptive intoxication instead.  So he ended up with time served, and had to pay $77 in court costs. 

(The Smoking Gun / MyFox9)
 
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Locations : MankatoMinneapolisMinnesota
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Two Guys Pull Guns and Start Shooting . . . After They Lose at Beer Pong

Not everyone's a gracious loser.  But here are two guys who might go down as the worst losers EVER.
 
Late Saturday night, 24-year-old Decoris Rucker and his friend Chris Hackett were playing beer pong at a house party in Ames, Texas.  (About 45 miles northeast of Houston.)
 
And when they lost . . . they pulled out GUNS, and started SHOOTING UP THE PLACE. Luckily, no one was killed.  But one girl got shot in the leg.
 
And Decoris ended up at a hospital with a gunshot wound too.  It's not clear if he shot HIMSELF, or if Chris shot him by mistake.
 
Decoris also has a long rap sheet, including arrests for burglary and assault.  They'll both be facing charges for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

(The Smoking Gun / Eastex Advocate)
 
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San Francisco Radio Stations Are Banning Lorde's "Royals" Until the World Series

Some San Francisco radio stations have issued a temporary ban on LORDE's "Royals" . . . and it's not because EVERYONE could use a break from that song.
 
It's because the San Francisco Giants are playing the Kansas City Royals in the World Series beginning tomorrow night.  The stations will lift the ban once the series is over.
 
The title of the song isn't just a coincidence.  Lorde has said that it was inspired by an old picture she saw of GEORGE BRETT in his Royals uniform.
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A Woman Falls Off the Toilet When She's Startled by a Falling Tile

I love it when people decide to sue . . . but have to tell an embarrassing story in order to do it. 
 
Back in 2011, a 61-year-old woman in Dublin, Ireland named Isabela O'Sullivan had her bathroom renovated, and got the walls redone with huge tiles that weighed about six-and-a-half pounds each.
 
Then about two weeks later, she was using the bathroom when one of the tiles came loose, and shattered on the floor.  And it scared her so much . . . she fell OFF THE TOILET, couldn't get up, and had to call a friend to come help her.
 
According to Isabela, the fall hurt her knee so much that she can't go on long walks anymore. So she sued her contractor over it, claiming he didn't install the tiles right, and it was HIS fault she fell off the toilet.
 
And a judge agreed with her . . . and just awarded her $32,000 for pain and suffering.  Plus, the contractor has to pay more than $3,000 to cover the cost of replacing all the tiles. 

(Irish Examiner)


 
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